Day 28: Also in Chapter Twenty, I talk about what my own “Happy Ending” looks like now, after everything I’ve learned. What does YOUR Happy Ending look like? In love and in life?
When I stop and take a second to really look back on my life, I realize that I’ve never truly had a vision for my happy ending. The term “ending” to me seems too concrete. Too definitive. I don’t like to look at my life as this obligatory journey that’s just going to abruptly end one day. I also don’t like to think about my happiness ending. I want it to continue throughout the entirety of my life, and on and on through eternity. So, I guess I’ve never actually given any thought to my “happy ending,” because I don’t look at my happiness as something that can actually be measurable in time. I want it to encompass everything in my life that ever has and ever will bring me joy.
I also know that I literally have no idea what path I’ll end up on throughout my life. I stopped trying to make plans for myself a long time ago. I take everything that comes to me in my life with open arms, while also knowing that it may not last forever. Where I am right now may not be where I end up in a year or two. I truly just don’t know, but I’ve grown to appreciate the uncertainty. I’ve grown to love it and look forward to it because it really is such a beautiful thought to know that some of our best days really haven’t even happened yet. They lie ahead of us, and the mystery of it all gives us something to look forward to. At least, for me, it does.
When I envision my future, I see a woman who’s truly happy with herself and her life. She’s loved unconditionally by someone. Maybe, they have a family together, a few dogs, and extended family close by. But, the most important part is that she’s reminded everyday of just how appreciated she is, even on the days when she can’t feel it. She’s reminded daily how much she is loved, even when she doesn’t feel like she can love herself. She’s encouraged, even in the moments when she really struggles to believe in herself.
You see, happiness in life isn’t always a beautiful and effortless thing. It’s chaotic and messy, and sometimes, we can’t always see it when it’s staring us right in the face. Especially if it’s disguised as something ugly. So often, it can be overlooked, and the internal joys tugging away at our hearts can be suppressed by fear and despair. This, I’ve learned. So, even though, I’m not too keen on “happy endings,” I’m a full supporter of “happy journeys” throughout our lives.
…and I can honestly say that I’m finally enjoying my happy journey. I just can’t wait to see where it ends up taking me…