Well, hello there, friends! If any of you are still out there, I’d like to thank you all for having patience with me on this writing journey of mine – I have taken quite the hiatus over the past few years (insert: a global pandemic that drained any ounce of creative motivation I had going for me.) For those of you that are new here, welcome!
Let’s start with a little re-introduction of who I am. I’m Jordan. New Orleans is the city that built me, but Nashville is currently the city that’s making me. Mardi Gras and Christmas are my favorite holidays. I love a night out at a live music show just as much as a wine night in watching movies or losing myself in a good book. Mornings are my favorite time of day. I love to cozy up with coffee, some poetry, and my journal followed by some meditation. When I’m not honing in on my passion for writing, I’m working full-time in the clinical research world trying to help find treatments and cures to cancer and other illnesses.
I started this blog way back in 2014 when I was a young twenty-something dealing with heartbreak, deep rooted old wounds, and feeling like my life as I knew it was over. It was a bit of a dramatic way of looking at things, but in my defense, the prefrontal cortex of my brain wasn’t fully developed until twenty-five (no one’s is), so anything that happened in my life before then just seemed heightened. I have since mellowed out over the years, and I now look back at that time of my life with nothing but pure gratitude. Twenty-four year old me thought she had it all figured out until she didn’t, but little did she know just how much her life would change for the better in her future.
It’s now been many years since then, and while I don’t read those early posts at all anymore, the timestamps in my archives remind me of just how much I’ve grown and changed since then. It’s interesting how we look back at past versions of ourselves and have a hard time understanding who they were or what they thought. They’re like a distant stranger. A hand we used to hold. A heart we once knew. A warm embrace we once fell into. However, as time goes on, bits and pieces of our former selves make themselves known. Maybe it’s a memory, a thought, or an emotion. Maybe it’s a smile in a photo or words in an old journal found in the attic at your mother’s house. Perhaps it’s a story told by someone who knew you then. That distant stranger has their moments when they become more like an old friend just popping in to say hi and how proud they are of you. It’s a bit of a full-circle moment for your selves when you let them coexist with open arms all at once.
I’ve been reflecting a lot over these last few years, as I’m sure many of you have, too. What else is there to do when the whole world shuts down and life as we knew it comes to a standstill? For me, I tried really hard to prioritize myself and my mind. The world can be cold, scary, and uncertain. If we’re not careful, we can feel like the weight of it all rests solely on our shoulders. I’ve known this feeling far too often in life – just a downside of being an empathic INFJ. I once asked Santa for world peace as a child, and it is something I still yearn for deeply as an adult. I firmly believe that we, as human beings, as humankind above all else, can be greater than we’ve been. Sadly, I am not so sure that we’ll see the positive repercussions of progressive change in our lifetimes. My hope is that this world will be kinder and more accepting for the generations that come after us.
I’ve been quiet with my words over the last few years, just sitting back and observing all that is going on around me. Around us. Around this floating rock in the universe that we all call home. Pondering so many questions and wonders about life. Leaning into my loved ones during hard times and celebrating with them during good times. Embracing change and solitude. Appreciating connections, both new and old. Just learning and living through this crazy ride we call life doing the best I can. I’ve been trying to find my way back to my heart and to my words. To this space that pulled so deeply at my heartstrings all those years ago, even though it started out of pain and despair.
Someone asked me recently why I stopped writing. I quickly realized I didn’t have a clear cut answer to give them. They also asked me to start again, and they told me that I inspired them in many ways. They reminded me of something I so often lose sight of: my worth.
And I’m so grateful for that little reminder. So, I’m going to do my best to start sharing my words again. My hope is that they will inspire you all in some capacity. I believe connection in this life is very important, and words have such a powerful way of healing us. I wrote a quote last year that goes a little something like this: “a world without words would haunt us with a silence so deafening, we wouldn’t know how to survive.”
So, here’s to all of us just trying to make it through one day at a time. We’re all on this crazy life journey together.
La Bella Vita 