Day 24: In Chapter Seventeen, I talk about “Moving On,” metaphorically and literally. Discuss a time when you found the courage to move on from a toxic situation, relationship, or environment.
The last two years of my life have literally been a phase in which I’ve been moving on. I’ve stated before how toxic parts of my past were, and how I eventually came to realize that I needed to break free from some of those certain situations. I thank God everyday that I finally did.
For awhile there, I had myself convinced that there was no way out, and honestly, I occasionally feel sad for the girl that used to believe that. The girl who used to feel that way. The girl that I used to be. However, I’m very quickly reminded that I’m no longer that girl, and I’ve grown and accomplished so much since then that it’s hard for me to picture my life any other way than what it is right now. I spent so many years of my life making decisions based upon other people’s opinions. I constantly felt controlled, in a sense. I knew that I was always supported in my decisions, but I also knew that judgments were going to be made at the same time. The judgments and the guilt are what ultimately held me back from making decisions that I knew in my heart would be best for me.
Honestly, it wasn’t until I moved away that I really truly felt what it was like to move on from my past, and I’m not even talking about my previous relationship or friendships. That was already dealt with long before I moved. It was literally the fact that I broke up with the old version of myself, and I was slowly moving on and away from that girl. It’s hard to describe. Just like any other relationship in life, you have to treat your relationship with yourself with the same kind of effort and care as you would anything else that you value and love. That also means letting your old self go once you realize that you’ve grown and your old ways of thinking are no longer serving you. It’s not even something that you realize right away. I know I didn’t. I started recognizing changes in myself gradually over the last two years. I’ve had quite a few “ah-ha” moments, so to speak. I often find myself saying “oh the old you would’ve never done this. Look at you go!” For the first time ever, I’ve been able to live my life on my own terms, without anyone trying to dictate my decisions. If I screw up now, it’s on me. I no longer have anyone to blame. I chose to take myself out of my comfort zone and out of the only live that I’ve ever known. It was terrifying at first, yes, but I needed it more than I realized at the time. I needed it to force myself to grow. To find myself. To really truly figure out who I’m meant to be.
There’s no way that I could’ve made it to where I am today without moving on from my past. From an ex. From old friends. From toxic jobs and toxic places. From negative ways of thinking. From the old me. Nothing in our lives is ever meant to be permanent. If it was, then we’d end up leading our lives either incredibly bored or incredibly disappointed. We’d never have the opportunity to mess up, learn from our mistakes, and grow. That’s why moving on is so important in life. It forces us to grow, even when we don’t necessarily think that we need to. It allows us to become a better version of ourselves every single day, and that’s something to be grateful for.