Since I missed yesterday of the #YouAreEnough 30 day blogging challenge, I figured I would just combine the last two days into one post. So, here we go with Days 8 and 9…
Day 8: Also in Chapter Five, I talk about unanswered prayers and how they can often be the biggest blessings in disguise. Share an unanswered prayer of your own and how it helped you see that sometimes God’s “no” is the most gracious answer of all.
Day 9: In Chapter Six, I talk about the end of a relationship that sent me spiraling into a dark place. Talk about a heartbreak of your own that you experienced, and what it taught you, about yourself and about life.
An unanswered prayer for me kind of goes hand in hand with a heartbreak I experienced from the end of a relationship. I won’t get into too much detail on that specific heartbreak, as I’ve written about it in depth before. However, I will say that when I was going through that relationship in my past, I was constantly asking God if it was the right thing for me, especially towards the end. Deep down, I had felt an extreme sense of doubt for a pretty long time, but I kept telling myself to ignore it. I just kept thinking things would eventually change and everything would be okay. I convinced myself that the doubt I was feeling was really just a normal fear of letting myself get too vulnerable. Just a side effect of having a guarded heart. It was expected.
Once things really started going south in that relationship, I found myself constantly asking God why? Why are you putting me through this? This isn’t fair. What lesson are you trying to teach me here? Are you ever going to help me get through this? Where are you when I need you the most? I kept asking for answers that I knew I wouldn’t get responses to right away. I grew up pretty religious, but at this point in my life, I had certainly strayed away from going to church. I prayed occasionally, but not near enough as I should have. To be quite honest, I’ve only started to regain my full faith again over the last year. It’s been quite a journey. After that relationship ended, I found that I started praying to God more. Funny how we only seek Him when we’re going through the hard times, isn’t it? Even though His presence is always with us, we’re just sometimes too blind and stubborn to see it.
I kept praying for that relationship to work out. I kept praying that my ex would realize that I was enough for him, but I also kept praying for guidance on the whole situation. The guidance is what He followed through with. It was like the blindfold was ripped off of my face, and I was finally able to see that relationship with open eyes. All those red flags and gut feelings I had ignored in the past slowly started making more sense. If I had really wanted that relationship to work out like I thought I did, then I would’ve made more of an effort to make it work. I would have fought harder to make it last. I would have wanted to put all of my energy into its success. But, I didn’t. I had reservations about it. Something was holding me back, and for the first time, I trusted that something. Whether that was God or my intuition, I finally took it for what it was and realized that that relationship had simply run its course. It wasn’t adding any more value to my life. In fact, it was doing the exact opposite. It was taking absolutely all of my energy and de-valuing my life in every way possible.
I thank God everyday for steering me clear of all of the things in my past that were not meant for me. It certainly took some time for me to realize that that heartbreak was truly a blessing in disguise, but once I finally did, I knew in my heart that there was no going back. I always say to trust the process. In life, you have to trust the mistakes you’ve made, the experiences you’ve gone through, and the lessons you’ve learned because it all brings you one step closer to discovering the person that you’re meant to be. God has always known, and His plan for us is far bigger than one we ever could have dreamed of for ourselves. So, while you’re trusting the process, be sure to put some faith and trust in God, too. He’s got your back, especially in the moments when you doubt Him the most.