Good change. Bad change. Unexpected change.
It’s something that is bound to happen in our lives at some point in time, whether we’re ready for it or not. We may choose it or it may just happen on its own. Sometimes, it can be pretty scary…taking that big leap of faith, taking risks, getting out of your comfort zone, and starting something fresh and new. Something that’s different, terrifying, and exciting all at the same time.
…yet, the fear is the most beautiful part of change for me.
You see, I’ve gone through changes a time or two in my life, and every single time, I’ve figured out that it’s put me on a path to something far greater than I ever could’ve dreamed of for myself. If someone would’ve told me five years ago that I would be where I am today, I would’ve laughed at them and said that there was no way that would be possible. This would’ve occurred quite simply because of the fact that I had absolutely zero confidence in myself, and I was completely closed-minded and blind to any ounce of ambition that I possessed.
If you look at me now or currently know me on a personal level, you’re probably thinking that’s crazy, right?
Whenever I mention my past (and some present) insecurities to people, their initial reaction is always something along the lines of “why on Earth do you think that about yourself?” or “you’re way too hard on yourself.” And that always gets me asking myself the same questions. Why do I spend so much time stressing over minuscule things and worrying about things long before they happen? (if they even happen). Why do I sometimes talk myself down when I should be bringing myself up?
Is it because I’m such a Type A and a perfectionist that really hates making mistakes? Do I put too much pressure on myself because I want to be extremely successful in life? Do I do it all because, being a child of divorce, I constantly feel the need to be a people pleaser? When, in reality, the only person I should be worried about pleasing is myself.
The answer is….I honestly don’t know.
But, what I do know, is that somehow my crazy ways of overthinking and overanalyzing have gotten me to exactly where I am today: living in a new city while managing graduate school, as well as a brand new job, both full-time, all for the sake of a promising career. Things in my life have been changing pretty darn fast lately. I haven’t really had much time to wrap my brain around everything that’s been happening. And maybe, that’s for the best, because, for the first time, I’ve realized that change really can be a good thing. And sometimes, you have to fall apart in order to rebuild the pieces and figure out who you’re meant to be.
I know I certainly don’t have it all figured out yet, but one thing that I know for sure is that, right now, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in life.
…and that’s a pretty amazing feeling.
So, don’t be afraid of change. Set your fears aside and embrace whatever life is bringing your way with open arms and open eyes.
2 thoughts on “A Leap of Faith”
I can totally relate to every word in this post. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has had these thoughts or felt this way. I am definitely a sucker for the comfortable things in life and fearing change when it happens. But, as you put so eloquently, I found that the changes that scare me most in life end up being the most rewarding. Thank you for sharing and keep writing!
Aww thank you! That means a lot. I have this motto in life that if you’re never scared, then you’re not fully living. So you just gotta roll with the punches and take life for what it is. They say life begins at the end of your comfort zone, so sometimes we just gotta take chances and go for it, no matter how intimidating it may be.